First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
