Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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