well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
