I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
