Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
