Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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