i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
