apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
