i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
