my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
MIDGETS
????
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
