Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
