Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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