Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
