So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
