All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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