she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
