i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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