I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
