I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's blow job season.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
