I murdered the dance floor call the cops
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
