Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
