You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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