Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
