In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
