Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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