Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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