yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I need a burrito and a hug.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
