Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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