none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
