i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
