Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
