Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
