I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
