That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
