watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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