..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
