So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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