I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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