Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
