WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
