I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
