No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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