Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
