She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
