I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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