Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
