I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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