y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
