Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
