I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
