Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
