Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I touched a dick in church today
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
