I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
